Welsh Jokes ~ only funny if you’re from Wales!


1) What do call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a Six Nations game?


2) Did you hear about the Valleys girl who wanted to get dirty with her boyfriend?

He took her to a coalmine.

3) What do you call a Welshman with no brain?


4) The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew, they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.

“No worries,” Jonah told them, “I’ll join you later and tell you what happened.” After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his team mates the final score – 95-3.

“What?!”, they said, “How did you let them get three points?”

Jonah replied apologetically: “I was sent off with 20 minutes to go.”

5) What do you get if you cross the WRU with an OXO cube?

A laughing stock.

6) Dai and Blodwyn were engaged to be married. Dai was sent by his company to London on a two-week sales training course. The course was fine but the evenings were boring and by the second week Dai was fed up with sitting around in his hotel bedroom and went down to the bar for a few drinks where he met a couple of girls of the night, who enticed him into spending his money.

On returning home Dai’s conscience got the better of him and he broke down and confessed to Blodwyn that he had been unfaithful to her twice.

Blodwyn said she was glad Dai had been so honest – she too had to confess that she had been unfaithful twice whilst Dai had been away… once with the Tredegar Male Voice Choir and once with the Ebbw Vale RFC first XV.

7) An English politician was giving a speech in Aberystwyth. He said: “I was born an Englishman. I have been an Englishman all my life, and I will die an Englishman!”

“What’s wrong, boyo?” shouted a voice from the crowd.“Got no ambition, have you?”

8) What’s the Ospreys and a three pin British electrical plug got in common?

They’re both useless in Europe.

9) Rhys: Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green, Green Grass of Home.

Doctor: That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

Rhys: Is it common?

Doctor: It’s not unusual.

10) Cabbie Rhys Parry was taking an American tourist from Bristol to Cardiff. When they were going over the Severn Bridge, the American told Rhys he had a longer bridge on his ranch in Colorado. When they arrived in Cardiff, Rhys showed him Cardiff Castle and he said his garage in Colorado was twice as big and only took a week to build.

When the tourist spotted the Millennium Stadium, he asked Rhys what it was.

He replied: “I don’t know, mate, it wasn’t there this morning.”

About Gorseinonboy

Hi I'm Vernon Goddard, retired and currently living in Lincoln having spent time abroad in France. My wife Carol and I are enjoying life away from having to make a living; instead we're making plenty of new friends in Lincoln. We have new plans for our time together and new adventures to achieve. Hell Lloyds TSB are still paying for it all and you taxpayers in the UK. So thanks ~ we really appreciate your regular contributions to our spending money. And why not stop and contribute on this site. If you have a view about anything I write you're welcome to post a comment or get in touch with me. When I'm not blogging, I write a little, garden a little less, drink and eat some, exercise when pushed, talk for Wales and think about the grandchildren. Well that's me. Gorseinonboy.
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